Congratulations! If you are welcoming a Baby into your home NOW is the time to start preparing your Dog for their new housemate. You will be preparing yourself and your home so why not your Dog too? Dogs don't understand exactly what's happening; they understand change. They see Mom acting a little weird- maybe slower, sicker, or moodier. They see her spending more or less time in either familiar or unfamiliar places. They see more and more (and more) unfamiliar stuff entering into their home which sometimes occupies their space. This is what they understand and sense. Relating it to a Baby is unlikely. During your prep for Baby keep in mind what your normal routine is at home with your Dog. Where does your Dog usually sleep, play, eat, lounge, etc? Where do you plan to let Baby sleep, play, eat, lounge, etc? See where I'm going with this? If a lot of these areas match you may have to rethink a few things but don't worry, you have 9 months to prepare 😊
One of the first things to practice is understanding our Dog's body language and behaviour regarding various sights, sounds, and general, everyday life. How do they react to other animal noises, car doors slamming, doors opening or closing? What are some cues they pick up on in our daily routines? Simply playing baby sounds won't give you the big picture though it can't hurt to add Baby sounds to your list of noises to play for your Dog. Pay attention to these key features in your Dog- eyes, ears, muzzle, tail, and general body. When we understand our Dog's body language better we can understand them better. Let's dig a little deeper into those key features:
Eyes: enlarged pupils, eyes wide, whale eye (side eye, half moon eye), squinting, eye aversion, normal pupil, relaxed eyes, shifting eyes
Ears: up and alert, up and relaxed, down/ back and tense, down and relaxed
Keep in mind different breeds hold their ears naturally in different ways
Muzzle: panting, open and relaxed, open with lips pulled back/ wide mouth, "smiling", closed and tense, closed and relaxed, lip licking, yawning
Tail: tense wagging, loose wagging, wide wag, short wag, loose and still, tense and still, between the legs,
Keep in mind some dogs have very short tails or no tail at all
General Body: tense, pacing, constant sitting/ standing, lifting front leg, turning head away, hackles raised, scratching
**Look at ALL aspects of your Dog and compare what you see in the to what is going on around them. Are they playing? Is there a lot of people, familiar or otherwise, around? Is there a lot of noise? Are there toys or treats involved? Sometimes excitement can mimic the signs of anxiety. Tense bodies (including muzzle, tail, and ears) can indicate a dog at ready to play- maybe you are holding their favorite ball getting ready to throw it. Some dogs will raise their hackles when they are over-excited. Panting can be a sign of thirst or being hot after physical activity. Once we have ALL the information we can piece together the whole puzzle**
>>Check out familpaws.com to get some pdfs and other information on being a Doggy Detective™️.
Another thing to practice is carrying a "mock baby" around the house-anyone having flashbacks to 8th grade health class?? 😅. This will help our Dogs see us carrying our real Baby when the time comes. If you think about it, how often are we carrying a precious bundle in our arms on a daily basis? I'd recommend making your "mock baby" out of a neutral object such as a liter bottle or a sack of flour wrapped in a pillowcase or blanket. This makes the object/ baby less interesting than a doll would be. **We don't want to make the Baby a big deal. Too often we create excitement or over stimulation regarding the Baby which can be confusing for our Dogs. Ideally, Babies should be no big deal when it comes to our Dogs. We want it all to feel as normal and as natural as possible** Practice carrying the "mock baby" around while you perform normal, everyday, tasks. Bend down and pick things up off the floor, sit on the couch and get back up, open the fridge, walk down the hall, etc to help your Dog learn that you carrying something is no big deal. It will become a new normal and they will, hopefully, be used to this by the time the real Baby arrives.
**This is also a good time to work on a "cue and a target" for your Dog. This can help when, for instance, you drop the Baby's pacifier and you don't want your Dog to grab it. Give the designated cue for your Dog to go to their target spot. The "cue and target" can come in handy for a myriad of reasons as Baby grows. This is also a great time to refresh on the basic commands. Give positive reinforcement for the behaviour we WANT to see and REDIRECT unwanted behaviour. If your Dog wants to come over to sniff the "mock Baby" don't necessarily encourage or discourage. Let them come on their own and reward when they step away on their own. Yes, the actual Baby will certainly have more of a smell than the "mock baby" but giving them the opportunity to be interested is helpful without forcing them or turning them away (which can lead to them associating Baby with negative things).
Next, let's talk about our Dog's space. With Babies comes things and stuff and more things and more stuff (for such tiny people they sure have A LOT). Once you've had Baby Showers, or the nesting instinct kicks in and you've gone on those Amazon shopping sprees (trust me, it'll happen), your house will start to get filled with Baby Item after Baby Item. Some of those stuff and things also move or make noise! They will also take over, not only the Baby's room but, other parts of the house too. Think about where your Dog spends most of their time- THE FLOOR! They eat, sleep, play, and relax on the floor (OK, some dogs ALSO sleep and relax on beds and couches.... like mine). Now, think about where Baby will be. Eventually, Baby will ALSO be playing and relaxing on the floor and then crawling and walking too. Toys will be strewn across your living room and tummy time mats will take up a majority of space. What used to be the Dog's space is now the Baby's space. That doesn't seem fair does it? Solution? Doggy Free/ Doggy Safe Zones (Familypaws.com calls them Success Stations™️)! There are numerous ways to make your home Dog and Baby safe by utilizing baby gates, large kennels, or the tethering method. The idea is to allow both parties to have their time in a shared space. When Baby is playing or doing tummy time Dog can be separated but still able to see the family. When Baby is down for a nap or bedtime Dog can come back to the shared space and spend time with the family as they used to. By practicing these methods BEFORE Baby's arrival this allows our Dog to get used to being separated for short periods of time. When separated make sure your Dog has things to keep them occupied. Puzzle toys/ feeders, toys in general, access to food/ water, etc. Make sure to continue your normal routine with them as much as possible.
**Keeping Dogs and Babies separated helps minimize risks of unwanted behaviour or undue stress especially for new parents. This doesn't mean our Dogs can NEVER be around our kids. Parent guided time with Dogs and Babies/ Toddlers/ older Kids is a great way to teach both parties how we want/ need them to act with each other safely. A parent or adult MUST be present and awake when allowing Dogs and Kids to interact and ideally they should be in between the Dog and Child. Both the Dog and the Child must be comfortable with the interaction. Don't force the Dog to come to you when holding the Baby and don't force the Baby onto the Dog (Keep Babies out of Dog Faces and Spaces!)
When using Doggy Free/ Doggy Safe Zones (Success Stations™️) you will need to practice with your Dog ahead of time so it becomes a new normal by the time Baby arrives. A sudden change in their routine and space can cause further confusion and anxiety in dogs. If you have to move their bed to a new spot or go back to kenneling this can take time and patience for them to re learn what it is you want them to do. It is highly recommended to not allow your Dog to sleep in your room when Baby is co sleeping or bassint sleeping especially if you allow your dog to sleep on your bed. Now, with that being said every household is different. **In our house our Dog was allowed to continue sleeping in our room with our Newborn in the bassinet. We did not allow him to be on the bed when the Baby was in the room- as a puppy he was taught to only get on furniture when invited. We never left Baby in the room to sleep alone with our Dog. We were ALWAYS present with Baby when our Dog was around. This worked for us and our house lifestyle.** If you choose to relocate your Dog to a new sleeping area start practicing as soon as you can to make the transition as smooth as possible.
Baby Homecoming! The big questions is "should I bring home the baby blanket for the dog to smell?" The short answer is "no", but the more complex answer is "it won't hurt but it won't help". Fun fact: by the 3rd Trimester Mom is already releasing Baby smells by way of hormones! This means your Dog has already been exposed to the Baby's "smell" for months. Smelling the Baby blanket once won't give your Dog the adequate time they need to get used to having a Baby in the home. This will, ultimately, take time and patience. Your Dog does NOT need to be "introduced" to the Baby face to face. When we bring Baby home that first day/ night we should proceed as we would any other day. You will be tired and emotional and having the Dog in your Newborn's face can cause undue stress and confusion for your Dog. Hopefully, by the time Baby is home you and your Dog have worked and prepared to make life with a new family member an easier transition.
**If you have a good, or any, support system this is a good time to start having them help. They can be used to take the Dog for their normal walk or playtime while you rest and bond with Baby and on the flipside if you are strong enough (mentally, emotionally, and physically- being a new Mom is ROUGH!) they can watch Baby while YOU spend time with your Dog. The first few weeks as a new Parent can be tough and it's easy to let our Pets fall by the wayside. By having a good support system we can still try to fit in "dog time" to our new schedules with Baby.**
The main point is to prepare as much as possible. Now, Moms, I know you will be tired and sore and uncomfortable especially come 3rd Trimester. Do your best and ask for help! The best things we can do for ourselves is to get help from whatever support system we have. If you do not have support reach out to whomever you can whether that be your Vet Clinic, Nurses, neighbors, etc. Familypaws.com also offers support. Plan and think ahead. What are your goals for your Dog and Baby? How do you see your home with Dog and Baby coinciding? Change can be hard but with time and patience it can be rewarding too!
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